Dear Football Gods – The 2017 College Football Season is Upon Us

Story by Derek Pech

The 2017 college football season is on the horizon. For football fans, this time of year is the equivalent of Christmas morning to a five year old child. It also happens to be the time of year where our imagination runs wild, and we get swept away with our hopes, dreams, and expectations for our favorite teams. 

As a diehard Hawkeye fan I dream big. I realize for my dreams to become reality we may need a little help from the Football Gods so I decided to put a little prayer to them in written form. 

Dear Football Gods, 

I pray that all of the Hawkeye players stay healthy and injury free. Always a good place to start right? 

I pray that Nathan Stanley and/or Tyler Wiegers become the next Aaron Rodgers. Or even the next Rudock/Beathard controversy. Apparently the Hawks had a damn good competition there. 

I pray that Iowa’s offensive line lives up to the hype. Help them to protect the young Aaron Rodgers, and be with them as they bulldoze paths to the end zone for Ak, JB, TY, and maybe even Ivory Kelly-Martin. 

I pray that Iowa’s talented backfield runs for 3000 yards this season. 

I pray that Ak continues his streak of protecting the football. 

I pray that Jabril Peppers finds his jock strap. I hear it is still lost somewhere on the hallowed grounds of Kinnick Stadium after Ak made him whiff harder than Charles Barkley at the country club. 

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I pray that Matt Vandeberg’s foot is healed. I pray that he realizes he’s now more well known for being Laura’s husband than he is for being an Iowa football star. 

I pray that Devonte Young, Adrian Falconer, Nick Easley, and the entire crew of young Hawkeye WRs unleash their inner Jerry Rice. 

I pray that Iowa’s TE’s are as good as they seem. I pray that Brian Ferentz gets them the damn ball as much as possible. 

I pray that AJ Epenesa is… well AJ Epenesa. 

I pray that Josey Jewell shows the college football world that “The Outlaw” is the best linebacker in all the land. 

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I pray that Iowa’s young defensive backs show some moxie.

I pray that Jake Gervase hits as hard as Brandon Snyder. The Hawkeye defense is so much fun to watch when they have a heat-seeking missile at safety. 

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I pray that Iowa’s defensive front is as good as Phil Parker says it is. Parker told reporters yesterday “I think it’s the best we’ve been up front as a whole since I’ve been defensive coordinator here.” 

I pray that Brian Ferentz kicks the Hawkeye offense up a notch. I pray that he steals the New England Patriots playbook. 

I pray that Greg Davis is enjoying his retirement. Cheers Greg! 

Finally, I pray that my beloved Hawkeyes go undefeated and Captain Kirk tells Colin Cowherd to shove that fake ID right up his ass. 

In your name we pray. Amen. 

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